Adapting To Change
Adapting to change is challenging, even good changes can be overwhelming. The quote I always think of is, "everything is temporary" the good, the bad, pain and pleasure it is only for that moment in time and then it is gone, never to be repeated. So we must find comfort in knowing that bad times will soon pass but it is so important to cherish the good times. These last three weeks have been such a whirlwind. We have been absolutely blessed with our beautiful little baby Xander. He was born on Monday 14th March at 11:17 weighing 7llb 11oz and what a bundle of joy he truly is.
I found the last few weeks of pregnancy really challenging. Between looking after my 2.5 year old monkey, constant Braxton Hicks and tiredness I felt burnt out and downright nervous about how I would cope with two kiddos. I would look at other mums with two, even three little ones and just think, how the hell are they doing it? I really felt so thankful for my Saturday morning pregnancy yoga with Jodie at Fringe as it was all that could take my mind off worrying and make me feel grounded again. She also organised a surprise reflexology treatment from the amazing Joanne Bale for me, which I would recommend to every mum to be a week before baby comes as I felt my whole body relax, even those Braxton Hicks eased up.
It is so so different this time around. With Gracie my first baby, I was stressed about everything from changing her nappy to every sound she made. Was she ok? Was I doing something wrong? Was my breastmilk enough for her? This time, as I am so aware he is most probably my last baby, I am loving every single second, treasuring every moment and smelling that beautiful newborn smell as often as I can. Plus he seems a lot easier than Gracie, or perhaps its me being more relaxed. He burps pretty quickly after feeding and is just so cuddly, the main issue I have found is that boys wee everywhere!
Another thing I was worried about was how my princess Gracie, who loves 24 7 attention and constant cuddles would react to this little addition taking up my time and her normal cuddle place on my chest but she has been brilliant and I have been pleasantly surprised by her gentle demeanour and how protective she is of him. She has had to adapt to this huge change and there are certainly some challenging times for her and for Andrew and I. Trying to breastfeed the baby and simultaneously cook her dinner was interesting, although now I've done it once I know I can do it again. I just can't wait to feel a bit more normal in my body. I am definitely on the mend and only a few weeks to go until I can practice yoga again and drive.
It really is the most incredible feeling to see your two babies together. I also feel like little Xander is helping to fill that huge void in my heart which was created when my dad died. I lost one of the most important men in my life and now I have an incredibly important little man but this time I get to take care of him. The circle of life is a beautiful thing.