Brusies and Bad Habits
Getting up today felt like what I imagine running the last 10 miles of a marathon feels like. My body felt like lead and I could barely put one foot in front of the other. I think its possible we went slightly over the top, yoga, surfing, posture practicing plus sunburn. Oh well, it was definitely worth it hough. Despite the comments about my bright red nose. Its so burnt it even hurts to yawn haha! Cover up in the sun kids, or at least sun cream!
After dragging my sorry backside into the yoga studio at 6 30am, within 5 mins of meditation I gave up completely and started planning my 30 minute lesson, our homework from the previous night. So disappointing. That was not very good Tapas (self-discipline) at all! The class was great though. Paula one of our other teachers took it today and it was tough but rewarding. My 86 year old body transformed back to my 25 year old body and once I was warm, I was fully in the postures and loving it. Talking of which, we had to choose some postures we were aiming towards mastering and two of them I mastered today!!! Now I just need to do scorpion
and handstand in the middle of the room. I think for that I need to work harder on my shoulders and arms. Although, check out my bruises so far.
They are from the arm balances when my legs rest on my biceps! Ouch but the poses are too cool not to keep practicing!!
All in all today has been a weird day. I don't feel like the growing stability in my practice is reflecting my mental state…..yet. I actually feel the complete opposite, unstable and I'm missing home and mum and the boys, and yes still Andrew a lot. I spoke to mum earlier and seems like finally things are looking up, and I want to be there to be happy with her. I can see Andrew on Skype but not being able to physically touch someone just makes them feel even further away. Especially now the end is in sight, time feels as stretched out as my poor hamstrings. I have also been dreaming so much here. Usually there is something to do with yoga involved but last night my dreams are jumping all over the place. I think that unsettled me as it brought a few emotions I've been keeping at bay into my conscious mind. Also, as stupid as this sounds, actually it is just plain stupid, but we as humans are creatures of habit. This afternoon I didn't make it upstairs after lunch in time to take my normal place, I've been sitting there and practicing in that exact spot since the beginning and no-one has ever taken it before. This time, it was gone and I went to the other side of the room. Everything looked different. My neck was stretching on the other side and I felt a bit nervy and agitated. I like my routine and when something throws me off, I feel almost winded. Its opened my eyes to the fact that I need to see life from other perspectives and surf the waves. I don't mind change when its my choice but being thrust into change resonates badly inside me, this is something else (yet another) that I need to work on. I love how awareness about this is raised by something so small like not getting my usual place in the room. Its these things and our reactions to them that make us who we are, and if we allow ourselves to turn a blind eye to our own bad habits then they will only get worse. Be real with yourself. The real challenge is, now I've identified all these detrimental qualities in myself, can I put them into practice in real life?
I also found out, we are all going to be teaching the class over the next week and Im 2nd up!!! Actually kind of nervous and freaking out so Im going to go and put my playlist together and get an idea of my flow. Eeeeeek scary stufffff!!!